Make Up Your OWN Mind

I just got started reading a book called "Conversations With God" and it has been very interesting so far.  Yes, I'm an atheist so you're probably wondering why I'm reading this book.  That would be the expected question, but it also reveals that you probably don't have a very open mind.  I firmly believe that if a person thinks that they know everything and aren't always questioning what they think or believe, that they will become stagnant and life will become pretty boring.  It's always a good thing to learn and read about things that might take you out of your comfort zone.

So far, I can say that this book isn't really a "religious" book.  It makes claims that all of the religions of the world are a myth so I can jump on board with that assessment.  It also claims that all there really is in the world is love, we just haven't been able to master that yet.  I can also agree with that.

This brings me to the paragraph in the book that made me want to sit down and write a little bit. 

"Very few of the value judgments you have incorporated into your truth are judgments you, yourself, have made based on your own experience.  Yet experience is what you came here for-- and out of your experience were you to create yourself.  You have created yourself out of the experience of others.  If there were such a thing as sin, this would be it:  to allow yourself to become what you are because of the experience of others."

This is an awesome way to look at things.  If you look at the statistics, a person is always very likely to believe in the religion of their parents.  They also usually support the same political party and have the same beliefs as their parents.  They are more likely to cheer for the team that resides in their city or state, because that's what others do. 

When parents force their beliefs on their children, they are robbing them of the process of discovering who they really are.  When kids are indoctrinated into a religion (or atheism), we take away the experience of letting them figure out who they are.  If they believe something just because we believe it, then they are not really their own person, they are just an extension of us. 

I know that getting out of our current belief system is very hard, but it can be done.  I went from being a believer in God to being an atheist based on the evidence that I found.  If I found sufficient evidence in the opposite manner, I would change my beliefs again.  I also know that it is very hard for us not to push our beliefs on others when we think we have the right answers, especially as parents, because we want our children to learn from our mistakes.  But again, this robs our children of experiencing life for themselves. 

This is something that I am always working on in my parenting, to let my children make their own mistakes and come to their own beliefs in their own way.  Now I have realized that I also need to do the same for other beliefs and with other people.  Everyone needs to discover their own beliefs for themselves and stop repeating what they have learned from parents and other people while growing up.  Step back from all of your beliefs and examine them from an outside perspective.  Do you really believe them or is just what you've always believed, so it's easier to just go with the flow?  If it's what you've always believed, devour every piece of information you can about that subject and see if you still believe that.  Read about things that disagree with your stance.  Challenge yourself, force yourself to grow.  Experience things for yourself instead of letting others experience them for you.

No More Messing Around

I think everyone that knows me knows that I am always up to something.  If I'm not striving to accomplish something I get very bored with life.  It's not about searching for the next best thing to make me happy, it's just about always looking for ways to improve myself.   I don't think I will ever feel like I've reached my full potential no matter how much I accomplish so I will always be striving for more. 

Like the saying goes, if you get complacent and happy with where you are in life, you will rot and die.  I don't know if anybody has every really said that before, but I just did, so now it's a saying.

I also believe that if you are working on too many things at the same time, you will half ass all of them and not really accomplish anything.  Sometimes you get fooled into thinking you're making progress because you're always busy, but that is not necessarily the case.  I need to make sure I'm striking a balance of working towards my goals, but not doing all of these things at once. 

I have fought with myself about whether to make these goals public for a month or so because in the back of my mind I worry about failure and embarrassment.  That said, I know 100% that I can accomplish anything that is truly important to me.  When I drove 3 hours a day to work at LA Fitness, people thought I was crazy, but I got it done because it was important.  Right now, I'm driving 2 1/2 hours a day, working full-time, and going to school full-time.  Many people have told me that they don't know how I do it.  I'm doing it because this shit is important to me. 

I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, although I am proud of what I get done.  I'm saying this to emphasize the fact that when I really want to get something done, I fucking get it done.  If you're committed to something and it's important you get it done.  Being committed is like being pregnant, either you are or you aren't.  There is no in between. 

With that said, I'm here to announce my main goals for the next part of my life.  I'm not putting a time frame on them because I don't care how long it takes.  The job is done when the goal is reached.

Disclaimer:  Obviously the goals of being a good husband, father, etc are always the most important, these goals are after the really important things in life. 

Goal #1:  Keep plugging away at school.  I'm set to get my AA Degree in May and then it's on to MSU this fall for my Math Education degree. 

Goal #2:  Get in the best shape of my life.  This doesn't mean be the strongest I've ever been or the biggest I've ever been.  Sure, being jacked is awesome and is always a secondary goal, but just being overall in the best shape of my life is the main goal.  I will be 32 in October.  That's not old, but to be 32 and be in great shape is pretty rare.  I already feel like I'm way above average in terms of strength and fitness for my age of 31, but being above average fitness in America is like being the skinniest person at a Twinkies convention. 

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That's it.  Those are the only goals I have.  All of my actions will need to lead towards getting closer to those two goals or it won't happen.  Drinking on the weekend? Out.  Going out to eat pizza or fast food?  It's out.  Not permanently, but until I reach my goal, all of that shit is out.  If you are my friend and can't understand that, then you're not really my friend. 

This is my announcement of my commitment to this and I would like anyone that cares to ask how it's going now and then to hold me accountable.  Keep following here if you are interested in updates. 

Keep The Goal The Goal

The goal, is to keep the goal the goal.

I think I first heard this saying from Dan John and it might sound dumb at first, but it makes perfect sense if you think about it.  Do you have goals you're trying to reach?  Most of us do, and the reason we don't reach them is usually because we change our mind along the way. 

I think we change our mind becasue we are afraid of failing.  If we give it 100% of our effort and don't reach the goal we have only ourselves to blame.  That's some scary shit.  If we change the goal then we can say that we would've reached the goal if we wanted to, but we decided that something else was more important.  We probably won't reach that goal either because the goal will change again in a few weeks.  It's how we protect ourselves from failure.

The goal should be to stay consistent and keep putting in the work on the most important goal until you reach that goal.  In terms of fitness, that means don't be switching programs every week.  Don't be switching diets every week.  How can you know if something works if you don't give it a chance?

If your goal is to lose weight and become a sexy beast, then keep losing weight until you're the most in shape person you know.  Don't get 75% of the way to your goal and then decide, "Hey, I think I want to be a powerlifter now!"  Don't flake out, finish the fucking job.

Rule #1

 

 

"Take responsibility for your failures and credit others for their part in your success. If you're doing it right, you don't need to toot your own horn."
 

"Don't Mistake My Confidence For Arrogance"

Check out this video for some motivation. 

A gold mine of motivational quotes.

Struggling Today

I'm struggling today.  I won a minor victory yesterday by not stopping by my favorite pizza place for 2 for 1 pizzas.  Throughout most of the summer that was my thing every Thursday.  Damn, that pizza is so good. 

Now today I'm just kind of in a funk.  I don't have to lift today, (just calves, abs, and cardio) so the motivation is a little bit less than normal.  When I have to lift it gives me something more to focus on.  I guess I just need to focus on getting in each meal properly since that's just as, if not more, important than the lifting. 

 I also started watching Sons of Anarchy while doing my cardio a few days ago.  Badass show. 

It's All On Me

I used to think that I just needed the right diet, the right workout plan, the right coach, the right situation, the right job, blah, blah, blah.  The truth is I could've had the perfect everything and I still would've failed.  Honestly, the perfect everything is just a myth.

No matter what a person is trying to do, the circumstances will never be perfect. Quit with the rationalization and get to work because time is passing one day at a time.  Just think where you'd be if you would've started a year ago, two years ago..... ten years ago. 

Even adding on to that, I'm not even focused on the main goal.  I'm focused on the next goal, the next step, the next class, the next meal, the next workout, the next day with my family.  There is no end point in life until you die.  Until then, there's only right now.  The future is a myth, it doesn't exist.  There is only right now and good things will happen when we start living in the present. 

That's my philosophy lesson for the day.