Needs and Wants - From Shelby Starnes

I found this in Shelby Starnes's log.  There is so much good information there that you will have weeks of good reading.  He is one motivating and inspiring SOB.  Check it out. 

Needs and Wants

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It’s human nature to desire, to crave things.

We crave money, sex, fame, power, drugs, attention… the list goes on and on.

And with this craving we create our own misery.

If only we had such and such, then we would be happy and content.

Right now can’t be that great, because we don’t have (fill in the blank).

But once we get it (if we even do), we quickly realize it isn’t so great after all, and we’re soon chasing after the next shiny thing.

The obvious problem here is that we never get it. We never get there. We end up spending our entire life striving, rather than arriving.

As I mentioned though, it’s human nature. It’s hard to escape. In fact in some respects, trying to escape can just become another desire.

Perhaps it’s best to realize the situation for what it is, and not let yourself get too wrapped up in it.

Yes you’re going to want stuff in your life – some tangible, some not, but don’t let it define you.

Like they say, “Pursue your dream but don’t let your life become one”.

Realize that the game of pursuit is one which can’t be won.

Quieting your mind down and appreciating what you already have is just as commendable as chasing after your dreams and constantly improving.

Sometimes NOT getting what we want is actually what we need.

Pay Your Taxes Olympians!

I don't believe income taxes should exist.  The government doesn't own our bodies and shouldn't have the right to take a portion of our work under the threat of jail. 

I think the Olympians should pay taxes on the money that they earn from winning a medal.  I also think that all soldiers and military should pay taxes on all of their income, even if they are in a war zone. 

Why?

If we have a law or a rule it should apply to everyone.  We currently have a law that states income is taxed.  To exclude certain types of income would be to put a value on certain types of work.  That value is all subjective.  What I think shouldn't be taxed is different than what you shouldn't be taxed. 

Of course, I don't think any income should be taxed, but since we have the income tax, tax it all!

I'm Fat and I Don't Like It

I'm fat.  Yes, I shouldn't admit that, but I would be fat whether I admitted it or not.  I am also strong, but it's easier to be strong when you're fat. 

I haven't always been fat, but I have weighed more than I would like to my whole life and have almost always been uncomfortable with my shirt off. 

The funny thing is that I know how to help others lose weight and get into great shape.  I've been doing it for almost three years now.  I just haven't been able to follow my own advice and get out of my way.  I always second guess myself and look for a better plan or a better way. 

I need to stop doing this because it will kill me if I don't.  I need to get the weight back under control and stop hiding behind the fact that I'm in better shape than most people or that I'm stronger than most people.  If I'm comparing myself to the average American, sure, I'm doing alright, but that isn't saying much when 33% of Americans are obese. 

So What Am I Doing To Change This?

I have registered for my first powerlifting meet in Dubuque, IA in November.  The weight class I will be competing in is the 220lb class.  This will force me to drop about 25lbs. and then I will readjust my goals from there. 

I also may hire a nutrition consultant to prevent me from second guessing the plan I make for myself.  I'm going to see how the next month goes before I do that.

How to Squat 425lbs

I squatted 425lbs today and it feels fucking great.  I could've written freaking, but you're not stupid and that wouldn't fool you.  You know exactly what I mean.  A 425 lb squat at a body weight of 245 isn't really that amazing, but it's a new record for me and it is just the beginning. 

How Did I Get There?

I started lifting weights around the age of 15.  I don't think I ever did real free weight squats.  I mostly did the beach bro workout.  Chest, arms, shoulders, and back once in a while. I did a few clean and jerks for football, but that was it.  I only got up to about 205 in the bench and I'm sure my form sucked.

When I was 19 and moved back home from my college failure I lifted weights pretty seriously for about 9 months.  I made the best gains ever and felt huge.  I was on some type of program that was an upper/lower split and worked everything based off 1RM%.  Looking back, it wasn't too bad of a program and I got my bench up to 255 if I remember correctly.  I don't remember what my squat got up to, but at least I was working lower body. 

Then I got away from the weights again, met my wife, got married, had kids, and got kind of fat.  I wasn't obese, but I went from about 210 in August of 2003 to 235 in March of 2009.  It was a slow weight gain and I worked out and dieted off and on during those years.

Reality Check

Life kind of sucked in the spring of 2009.  I was working a job I hated (then I got laid off) and I had too many bills and not enough money.  It was hard to find a new job and unemployment didn't pay enough so I attempted to join the Air Guard.  I was told that I was too fat (I had a waist circumference of 42 inches) so I started working out.  I knew that I needed to lift weights to maintain muscle, but at that point all I cared about was getting the number on the scale to get below a certain magical number that the military required. 

After doing tons of cardio (a lot of swimming, which was actually fun), I lost about 12 pounds and then it stopped.  I realized I needed to add weights in, started Rippetoe's Starting Strength, and dropped another 12 pounds pretty quickly. 

At this point I had moved on from the Air Guard and was going to join the Navy active duty to study nuclear power because I scored 99 out of 100 on the ASVAB, which is some kind of military aptitude test.  Long story short, I went to MEPS and was told that I was too old (27) for a job with a maximum age of 25.  Because of the bad economy, the Navy had many people trying to get in so they didn't need to give me a waiver.  In normal times I probably would have gotten in. 

Rippetoe's Starting Strength

This was the program that I followed starting in May of 2009 and I followed it for almost a year.  You can Google it for details, but it is a very structured program based around the main compound lifts.  I believe every new lifter should start with this program if their goal is to get stronger, gain muscle, and lose fat.  It worked great for me. 

When I started this program my 5RM squat was about 225.  I think I got up to 325 or so for 5 reps using this program.  Then I got a job at LA Fitness, discovered many other training programs and experimented for a while. 

I did a little bit of crossfit stuff, a lot of bodybuilding/high rep stuff, and a lot of dieting.  I don't know what I squatted during this time because I don't think I went below 8 reps for about 9 months.  I learned a lot and gained some decent size during this time, but my strength probably plateaued during this time. 

Doggcrapp and Bodybuilding Training

I quit LA Fitness in September of 2010 and started working for myself doing personal training.  I did this for about 9 months before becoming manager of Anytime Fitness.  I made my own schedule during this time and had a great training partner so I never missed a workout and made great gains. 

We did Doggcrap training for about 3 months and bodybuilding/high rep stuff for about 6 months.  I didn't do much low rep work, but really pushed the high rep stuff, which must have carried over into peak strength. 

Last July I was squatting with my training partner after a couple week layoff and was feeling great.  We just kept pushing the weight up (I had never had more than 335 on the bar in my life) and doing singles.  First it was 335, then 355, then 375, and I figured what the hell, I would go for 405.  It went up pretty easily and I was amazed.  That definitely shows that high volume does have a carryover to max weight if you are really pushing the high volume work. 

The Lazy Year

That happened in July of 2011 and I have pretty much coasted this last year.  I've gained too much weight (I'm at 245) and am going strong again.  I have signed up for a powerlifting contest in November and will be competing in the 220lb weight class so that's good motivation to cut a little bit of weight. 

Even with the nearly year-long plateau my squat has still gone up 20 pounds and I'm pretty sure I could have squeaked out another 25 (next month I will max again and will push for 440). 

Summary

It took me longer than it had to, but I got there.  The next 200 pound increase shouldn't take me 9 years if I'm doing things right, but who knows.  Nothing ever goes exactly as planned and that's the fun part.

I'm A Failure

I have failed at many things in my short life so far.  I have accomplished a lot and I am proud of what I have accomplished, but I have also failed miserably at many things.  Let's start from the beginning. 

I'm sure I failed at some things before college, but I don't remember what they were.  Anything that happens before a person turns 18 is mostly meaningless anyways.  Unless it's something that causes your life to end or you to go to prison, it really doesn't affect anything. 

You could actually say that anything that happens at any point in our life is meaningless because in the billions of years the universe has been here and the billions or trillions of years that it will continue to exist, we occupy only the very tiniest sliver of time.  Even the most important people in the history of the world aren't remembered by the majority of people alive today so what chance do we have of leaving a lasting legacy?  Yes, we remember some famous people from history, but only a few of the major events or things that happened to them.  So, there's that.

So what have I failed at?  Well, the first thing I failed at was college.  I failed at the part of college that most people think holds the most importance.  I failed at going to class, completing the work, and graduating.  I would say that I succeeded at having fun, meeting people, and learning about myself, but society doesn't care too much about those things.  It only cares that you jumped through the educational hoops, checked the boxes, and received the degree.  Society also cares that you pay back the mountains of debt that most people build while they are in college because society cares about that credit score. 

I have failed at relationships also.  I nearly lost my marriage and my family because of some stupid decisions that I made.  There are no excuses for being stupid, but the main reason was that I was unhappy with myself and where I was in life.  It was probably the lowest point of my life.  It WAS the lowest point of my life.  I'm glad it happened now because it allowed me to finally forgive myself for my past failures and start to build myself up from that point on, but damn, was it hard.

I have failed at friendships throughout my life.  I was never good at being a friend because I didn't have my own life in order.  It's hard to be there for other people and think about them when you're just trying to keep everything working in your own life.  You've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.  I took advantage of some friends and other people in my life and if you are reading this I apologize.  I can't make it up to you, but you know who you are and if you ever need anything, give me a call.  I will help you out if you can. 

I have failed at many of the goals I have set out to accomplish.  I wanted to play college sports, make lots of money, be popular with everyone, compete in a bodybuilding contest, and many other things. 
I have failed at almost everything I have ever tried.  I know I'm not alone because everyone fails at most everything they try to do.  If that wasn't true, there wouldn't be so many unhappy people out there.  There wouldn't be so many Facebook posts every day saying "Can't wait for the weekend", "It's Monday already?  Where did the weekend go?", or "I hate my job."  The world is full of negativity and unhappy people and that's because most people have failed at everything. 

I know you are probably thinking that this seems like a really negative post so far.  You can look at it that way if you want, but it's not.  It's really a very positive post.  Why?  Because everything I have that is good, every success that I have achieved, and every other thing about my life that I enjoy is a result of all of these failures.  In a way, every one of these failures is also a success because they led to happiness. 

Failing at college has led to being creative in finding jobs, learning perseverance, learning what NOT to do in college, and has led to my success so far in my second attempt at college. 

Failing at relationships and nearly ruining my marriage has led to having a better marriage than I ever thought I could have.  Things have never been better and I owe it to Kristen for having faith in me and not giving up.  This was also the failure that really changed something inside of me and led me to start working on myself.  Before this I was always trying to change others so I could be happy.  While going through marriage troubles I realized that there is no way that a person can ever change another person.  We can only change ourselves and hope that other people see those changes and are inspired to make a change.  In the book "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, I remember reading a part that went something like this.

When presented with a situation that we don't like, we have two options.  Change the situation or change our attitude towards the situation.

Viktor was in a Nazi concentration camp at the time he wrote this.  He was seeing people being killed all over the place, had lost his whole family, and had no real reason for optimism yet he was able to see things clearly and keep that positive attitude.  If he could do that in probably the worst situation a person could ever be in, then we can sure as hell do it in our everyday life here in America, where even the poorest people have it better than the majority of people in the world.

Failing at friendships has led me to be what I consider a pretty good friend.  I don't have a lot of close friends, but the friends that I do have I would be there for anything they need.  I have only learned how to be a good friend by learning from my mistakes in the past. 

Why I am writing this now?  I don't really know.  Maybe it's to get it all off of my chest.  It might be in the hopes of some of the people I've hurt in the past reading it and seeing that I am sorry.  Maybe so other people that are in the middle of something they perceive as a big failure will have some hope that things will get better.  Like I said, I don't know.  When I write I just sit down and start writing what comes to me and this is what came to me today.

After really thinking through all of this, were those failures really failures? I think the only way that something is a failure is if we make a mistake and fail to learn from it. I guess that makes all of these failures a succes. Funny how that works, huh?

Nice Job Bro, Good Job Bro

I sit in the office of a gym for 8 to 9 hours a day and hear some really stupid stuff being said on the floor.  This morning I get here and the first thing I here is "good job bro, nice job bro."  So I look out to see what they're doing and it's standing EZ Bar Curls.  One guy is spotting the other, they're both in tank tops, counting out reps and saying "good job bro, nice job bro" on every rep or "it's all you, man, look at those ripples!"  And these aren't 18 year old kids, these guys are in their 30s and 40s.  

At least they weren't doing it in the squat rack.

Yesterday's workout.